North Korea, Best Korea!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
