i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Shame - the story of my life.
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