this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
