Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have feelings that need drinking.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
