is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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