Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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