Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
