is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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