well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They took my balls.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
