Quick, to the slutcave!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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