We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
