question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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