Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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