i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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