what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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