i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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