Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can I color on your dick again?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
