Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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