NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
