If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
