If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
