My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
