I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize