The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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