The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
