Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
