You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
