i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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