i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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