Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
