apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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