You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
