You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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