well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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