so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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