You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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