Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
