You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
