I hate all girls vehemently.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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