Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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