the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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