I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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