If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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