It's Friday. Sex?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize