well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
