we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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