North Korea, Best Korea!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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