Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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