She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
