Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize