She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
