there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
