He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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