im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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