so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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