coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
