Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Vodka?
Forever.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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