I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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