Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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