I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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