Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
