So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
