Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
