an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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