I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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