i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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