I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
