I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
ttyl tear gas
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
