Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
