every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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